1. “its my world, you’re just drinking in it”

2. “your top shelf pretensions are money in my pocket”

3. “tabs are for suckers”

4. “its all about the bottom line-down to our choice of glassware”

5. “fast service doesn’t necessarily mean good service”

6. “this bar is filthy”

7. restaurants are a terrible place to get a good drink”

8. “i don’t know diddly about wine”

9. “your drink costs whatever i say it costs”

10. “unless you’re using a walker, expect to be carded”

by Neil Parmar, Smart Money July 2007